Diary of a Long-haul Stewardess
So I'm in Los Angeles. We used to stay down-town but are now put up in a hotel in Santa Monica by the beach. I haven't bonded with anybody on the crew so I'm pretty much Jonnie- no-mates. Still the weather's good and there's so much to see. I went for a walk along by the Palisades. It’s like a prom that runs alongside the Pacific Coast Highway. It's really pretty with palm trees and a great view of the ocean on one side. By the time I'd walked along and back I was ravenous. But I had to pass through Venice.
Venice Beach Park is a place that makes walking along the front at Brighton seems like the starter. If you think Brighton has got a few dodgy characters it's nothing compared to the likes here. Everyone comes out to show off their own particular brand of peculiarity and to soak up the rays. And it wasn’t just the men. I saw sights that shouldn't be allowed out during the day. You get the usual bearded wonder doing his Taekwondo or a very precarious Sun Salutation in risky shorts but who in their right mind would go roller blading in a thong? Well, she did for a start. Mind you, if my butt was that taut I’d want to show it off too.
It's a shame it's such a short trip, I could do with exploring some more. At the back of the beach are stalls selling all sorts of tat, plus I could have got my hair braided with Stars and Stripes [very becoming with the uniform, but I managed to resist.]
I stopped off for a late breakfast to watch as the world and his wife came out to play. Just as I was tucking into my eggs [over easy] and the humongous portion of hash browns with bacon on the side, glad that I wasn’t sitting in a thong as it would not have stretched to cover anything let alone my bum crack by the time I'd finished my plateful,when along walks the stewardess from first class with a fitty beside her. She obviously had been brought up beautifully and taught to share as she noticed me, sitting on the terrace, fork raised mid mouthful and to my delight asked if they could join me.
Breakfast had suddenly got even better. Turns out the fitty’s called Ed and he’s her friend from another crew. Well, he didn’t show any signs of being her boyfriend nor gay but she did let it slip towards his second coffee refill that he was a First Officer. He was so funny and had me laughing so much I nearly spat a mouthful of toast over him; I could just about forgive him for being flight deck.