Diary of a Long-haul Stewardess
I decided to send Ed a gift in return as a 'thank you' for rescuing me and for the stockings. Humm…what to give a man who possibly has everything and flies around the world so that he can get anything he likes, even it if it is fake. A bolt of inspiration hit me. I had recently been browsing a local ‘buy any tat here cheaply’ shop [don’t ask why] and seen the tackiest, yuckiest pair of Union Jack boxer shorts in really nasty thin material. Result! I couldn’t afford to get him anything decent so going way OTT on tat was, I considered, the best step. I knew where he lived and could put a cheeky note thanking him for his kindness and generosity and add that I hoped never see him in them. If Candy happened to see the parcel or the note I’m sure it would put the cat among the pigeons but, what the hell? If the man wants to play games he’s got to take the consequences.
The next few days were spent catching up with domesticity. I’d like to say that my life is all exotic glamour and if I was telling a stranger I would, but in reality just between the two of us, there is a load of monotonous drudgery involved as well. I could get all my laundry done in the various hotels across the world but as I’m saving that seems just a tad extravagant.
I’ve decide to start looking to see what kind of property I can afford. I need to stay around this location to make it easy to get to and from the airport but the nicest locations seem few and far between and of course, that’s where everyone else wants to live. A cottage along from Ed is on the market but apart from being way out of my price range, I don’t think Candy would be pleased to see me tottering down to put my rubbish out in my PJ’s or kindly lend me a bowl of sugar if I needed.
My next trip is a weird one, encompassing Africa, the Gulf and ending up in Hong Kong. It does feel as though scheduling just stick pins in the map and build our itinerary around them.
It felt a bit like Déjà vu flying into Nairobi again. This time though there was a bit of excitement as we were coming into land. I had all the passengers strapped down in my section and the cabin ready. I had just strapped myself into my jump seat when I realised that we had stopped descending and seemed to be levelling off to circle the airport. Continuing to smile as the extremely boring man sitting opposite me tried his best at flirting, I took a quick glance out of the window. There, lined up, were the flashing lights of numerous fire engines with their ambulance companions parked next to them. People standing at the edge to the tarmac looking up at the plane. Not one to panic immediately, well, not until I hear ‘Brace, Brace’ from the Captain anyway, I fixed my smile in place and watched as the Cabin Service Director came hurrying up the aisle from the tail end of the aircraft.
‘Keep smiling,’ she whispered in my ear. ‘We have to circle the airport. We’re not sure the landing gear is down. It may all just get a bit hairy.’ And with that she rushed off up the plane to deliver her news to the next crew member.