Diary of a long-haul Stewardess
I hesitated. It felt like one of those scenes in a movie when you just knew the heroine really shouldn’t do what she is about to do but something makes her throw caution to the wind and she jumps in with both feet. If I was listening to my head I should slam the door in his face [after I’ve picked up the champagne bottle, of course] and scream at him never to darken my door again. Good move? Not sure? Listening to my heart was sooo much more exciting.
‘You left these behind as well,’ Ed continued, reaching down to pick up the watercolour paintings I’d bought from the market and offering them to me.
Head… Heart… Oh, to hell with it. I forced away the resolutions I’d made earlier in the bath. Flight Deck were trouble but why couldn’t I have a bit of fun first? I could protect my heart from getting damaged. I knew where I stood. Ed was with Candy and he would return to her once those wheels touched the tarmac at Heathrow. Meanwhile I could have a bit of fun at Candy’s expense. I’m not a vindictive person… truly, but Candy wasn’t there and she had been a bitch. Ed was asking to spend some time with me. So be it. Decision made.
I stood back from the door and gestured for him to enter.
‘You realise of course that it’ll take more than a bottle of champagne to get round me,’ I said as I followed him in and shut the door. Ed put the champagne bucket on the side next to the TV and picked up the bottle.
‘Well,’ he said taking the wrapper off the top and starting to peel the metal cage from the cork. ‘How about we start with this and then I take you out for dinner. You didn’t have anything planned did you?’ He reached into his pocket and brought out two champagne flutes.
‘Where did you get them from?’ I asked in amazement. Then the penny dropped. ‘Don’t tell me you borrowed them from First Class.’
‘Nooo. That would be stealing. I always carry a couple of glasses in my luggage. Don’t you?’ He smiled at me.
‘But that means you must have planned this? Or at least hoped you might get lucky.’ The scheming bastard. He had this in mind all the time. It must be his usual seduction technique.
‘Suzi. You are so sceptical. Why can’t I just happen to have champagne glasses with me without any deception in mind? Stop analysing everything.’
‘But unless you’re here to seduce me, thus adding me to your list of conquests, why are you here?’
‘I’m here because I like you and I don’t want our friendship to end on a bad note which it would have done. ..And someone had to return your paintings.’
I took the flute from his outstretched hand and gulped a large mouthful. Big mistake. The bubbles from the cold liquid hit the back of my throat and went down the wrong way. I started to choke. In an effort to breathe the strain of my coughing caused the towel to come off my head leaving my hair tossed around my face in a tangled mass. Ed quickly came to my assistance. He rescued the glass from my hand but in his effort to save me from spilling it everywhere, caught the side of the towel wrapped around my body causing it to slip to the floor. I stood naked, hair like a whirling dervish in front of him, coughing for all I was worth.
‘Hummm… not the usual reaction I get giving a woman champagne,’ he laughed as I regained my breath. ‘Well, not so quickly anyway. But infinitely preferable.’
I rushed into the bathroom, past caring that I’d left nothing to his imagination. Thank goodness I'd been facing towards him when I bent over coughing.
‘Shut up!’ I shouted in between breaths as I leaned on the side of the bath. After a short while I’d recovered enough to brush my hair and regain my composure.
The bathroom door slowly opened a crack. ‘Thought you might want this,’ Ed said as he passed me through a large, white fluffy robe. I put it on and tied the cords around my waist. As I walked back into the room, Ed was refilling the flutes.
‘Why don’t we start again, Suzi?’
‘No buts. I want us to be friends. That’s all. Let’s forget our argument earlier…’ I opened my mouth to protest again. Obviously fed up with trying to rationalise with me Ed took one step closer. Putting his arm around my back and pulling me so close I could smell the champagne on his breath, he held me tightly. Before I could protest again he pressed against me until my head tilted back and brought his lips down to meet mine. I felt his tongue probing into my mouth. Mmm… long time since this had happened to me. I’d forgotten how pleasant it was. Sword fighting with tongues we used to call it as kids. Ed was particularly good at it. After what I thought was a keen-but-not-quite- a-pushover amount of time, I pushed him away slightly.
‘Not bad,’ I said stepping back and appraising him. ‘What’s that? Stage 1?’
‘Suz… you’re impossible.’ Ed took his champagne and sat down in the chair beside the bed. ‘I’m going to ignore that remark and move on. What do you fancy to eat? Chinese? I know a good restaurant just up the road from here. Let’s finish this while you get dressed and we’ll go and see what they’ve got.’
So, once a First officer always a First officer. Thinks he can take control in my hotel room as well as on the plane, does he? Well we’re not on that big bird now. I sipped my drink and sat on the bed leaning against the head board. I wasn’t going to do what I was told quite so easily. If he wanted seduction I’d show him who was in charge. I let the robe fall open slightly at the top showing just a hint of my right breast. Probably needless as he’d just seen what I had to offer but I’d watched a movie recently where the woman arranged herself on the bed and it worked for her.
‘I was going to stay in before you turned up,’ I said. ‘I am starving though. Does that restaurant do take- away? Seems as shame to gulp this down.’ I held up my glass. Overdone a bit maybe? What a harlot I was. I really needed to practise being more subtle. ‘What about you go and pick us up something to eat and bring it back here.’ Not the best seduction technique but if there was going to be a conquest, it would be on my terms. And anyway I needed to get him out of the way for ten minutes whilst I got myself prepared. Although he’d just seen me naked it wouldn’t do for him to look too closely.
Ed looked at me. ‘Sometimes I just don’t get you Suzi... You remind me of my sister.’ Oh great. Now he thinks of me as a sibling. ‘She’s a bit barmy as well.’ Even better, a mad sibling. ‘I now know what her boyfriend puts up with,’ he continued. ‘But that sounds good. What do you like?’
‘Surprise me.’ I requested. ‘Anything chicken,’ I reconsidered quickly as he finished his glass and headed for the door. I suddenly had visions of Ed bringing back sweet and sour snakes in batter or something equally yucky just to see my reaction.
‘Oh, you’d better take this,’ I said handing him the key for the door. Ed leant over and kissed me gently on the cheek. ‘I meant what I said Suz, I do want us to be friends. You’re different from the others.’ He walked to the door. ‘Bonkers, but different. Won’t be long.’
As soon as the door slammed I raced off the bed. I had about twenty minutes I reckoned. Gulping down the rest of the glass I filled it again and headed into the bathroom. I ran my hands along my shin. Shit. That would never do. If Ed was going to caress me with his tongue from head to toe it would be in tatters by the time he left my knee. I grabbed the razor from my wash bag and climbed back into the shower. I hadn’t defuzzed for a couple of days, well, I reckoned there wasn’t much point in doing the whole works if there was no need, only the bits that could be seen .
I swished back the shower curtain and studied myself in the mirror. Okay, the burning bush would have to go. You never know, he might make it as far as there if I didn’t blow it beforehand. I hosed myself down and started to squeeze the shaving foam into my hand. Starting with the black spider hairs on my big left toe [well that’s where it all started for Fergie] I slathered the creamy liquid all over my legs and up over my body until I got to my underarms. In all the movies I’d ever seen, the couple always lay post- coital with their hands behind their heads, a bit self satisfied I’d always thought, but best to be prepared for all positions. With the precision of a surgeon I ran the razor over my skin until everywhere was soft and smooth. Impressed that even under pressure I hadn’t nicked myself I patted myself dry and reached for a large tub of coconut body butter. Fingers crossed Ed wasn’t allergic to coconut, as it was that or baby lotion. I looked in the mirror again. Nice job. Now I just needed to do something with my hair and face.
It didn’t take long to select my nicest underwear. Not quite the right ones for a hot night of passion but the best set I could find at short notice. At least they matched and were lacy. At last. I was ready for anything that came my way. My heart pounded as I looked at the clock and realised that twenty minutes had gone by. I switched on the TV and, dressed in a short skirt and lacy top that I plucked from the top of my suitcase, I lay on the bed to await Ed’s return.
Damn. My stomach rumbled in protest at being neglected for so long. I leapt off the covers and picked up the remains of the champagne. Tipping the rest into my glass I propped myself up on the pillows and excitedly awaited my night of passion.
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